I hope mine doesn't look like that
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
