i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
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