I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
