Yo dont text me then not text me
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
