my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize