I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Randomize
