Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
