I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
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