I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
