My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
