i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Randomize
