She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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