Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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