is wine microwaveable?
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
