i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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