he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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