So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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