Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
jump out the window naked night went bad
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
