I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
