I showed him my bush... on skype.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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