You really coming over, don't trick.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
