i think my mom watched the whole time
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Randomize
