Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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