people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Your penis caused this!
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
