i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Boobs are out for the taking
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
