I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
