Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
