I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize
