I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
