We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
