Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
i think my tv is drunk
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
i just had sex bonerless
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Randomize
