I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
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