i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
