Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Quick, to the slutcave!
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Randomize
