dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize