You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
