ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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