And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
