I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
