I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize