Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
he fucked my hip out of place.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
the raccoons are back...
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