am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
