White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Randomize
