i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
