He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
