dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
