i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
