And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
