apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
