I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
