yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Mom said you looked used
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
