he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
