Don't make out with my wife yet
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
