How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
