Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
