Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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