i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
