I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize