If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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