Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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