i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize