yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Please, let me fuck your mom
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize