I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
17 year olds will be the death of me.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
