everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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