my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
you traded sex for a burrito?
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
